Young Couples and Yamayama

Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing! I think some of my classmates will read this post and confirm their assumptions about me being unfavorably disposed towards men, tall men, black men, short men, ugly men, fine men, men! It is a lie, men are good people but women are just better (laughs it out). While I do love it when I see people holding hands (that is a lie) I think they are deliberately trying to mock me. 

Everywhere I go, I must see young couples trying to make my eyeballs burst. Yesterday, I was enjoying myself oh, plate of rice and plantain at a restaurant when two_______ (I don't know what to call them) walked in. I would have cared less if they chose another table but they did not. Instead, the young man (who by the way did not button his shirt well) took a chair out for the lady to sit at my table. By the way, so men still hold out seats for ladies? Where are those men? Because all the men I see in Lagos even push me to get on a bus! 

Back to yesterday, the lady sat down gracefully (as though she was afraid that a normal sitting position would make the world end) and said she was very hungry and two spoons of rice would do. That is where I was surprised. Hello, two spoons? Very hungry?  My home girls know that's so absurd, very hungry demands four or five spoons! So I was seriously considering two options:maybe she knew the guy was broke or, she doesn't want to appear as a glutton. Who does that? Actually my roommate said two spoons is a lot of food, but I disagree. Let's leave that at that! 

What is food meant for? To be eaten! But these children (I don't care if they are older) kept staring at each other's eyes while the food was growing cold(not my business) until the guy reached forward to give her a kiss on the chin (eh, ewo!). At that moment I became sure of the fact that those children came to taunt me. Probably they were paid by someone I had offended, because, it is totally inappropriate to do that in my front! This is not Amelica! Leave yamayama for waste packer, this is Nigeria and you cannot be doing lubbish in my flont! 

So I am warning you people, if you know you ever want to do that PDA around me, better make sure I am not wearing my glasses or you do it behind. If not, I will immediately mark you as my enemy. It is enough that I have to eat alone while both of you eat, that I have to go to the movies with my crazy friends who never stop talking while you go with your Bae, so don't make it harder, don't be kissing in my face!  

PS: If you are the couple who sat next to a lady in Afro hair and a Jean shirt yesterday at SUB, University of Ibadan, I'm taking about you. Don't be doing that lubbish.  Exams have begun, go read!