Skip to main content

Proud to be Incorruptible

 The beauty of being a woman comes in various shades. It is the pride of being ‘unbewitchable’ unlike the male gender. For a woman can never be conquered by juju or black magic, only a man can. Only a man can be bewitched to lose his senses and become ‘snatchable’ by another women who disconnects him from his wife. 

This in turn births another strength of a woman, a woman can break such ‘bewitching’ locks through prayer! Glory! Yes! Only a woman can pray her spouse out of infidelity for men are a breed immune to the gift of prayer. So when a woman is unfaithful, society knows, society can tell, a man is not expected to pray his wife back to her marriage for two reasons. One, she cannot be bewitched by another man for she is immune to juju and two, men cannot pray. The absence of the ‘bewitchableness’ of a woman is sometimes called into question particularly at burials of husbands. Yes, we try to make exceptions for women. Only widows can kill their husbands to inherit their property, be it debt or a negative account balance. Widowers are exempt! Of course widowers must be exempt! Women have no earnings, incomes or assets that a husband can covet.

How beautiful it is to be incorruptible in so many ways yet corruptible to the point of fertility for only women can be barren or infertile. Hence, we shall decide, as a nation never to hold spiritual crusades to pray for infertile men. Infertile men? They are a myth! They simply do not exist! Why? How many religious houses have you seen praying for barren men? We simply cannot have them because they are not a part of our society! At best, it is reserved only for Nollywood.  

Oh what the joys are! To be part of a gender that is continuously celebrated. This is why we shall never hear ‘Mama na girl o’ the stark opposite of ‘Mama na boy o’. The beauty of being a man is however nothing compared to that of a woman who is many things. A woman is never allowed to lose form after marriage for she must wage war against the effects of childbirth and keep her figure intact lest she surrenders her husband to wandering beauties. Men on the other hand, we have to graciously grant the privilege of possessing ‘Saki pot-sized’ bellies due to the strong power of beer. 

I am happy to be deemed incorruptible in the face of the several challenges a woman must face and I must say, it is a beautiful way to live!

Comments

  1. It's beautifully beautiful to be a woman

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's indeed beautiful to be a woman, even in th most difficult time she doesn't break. A woman always knows how to find her through, relentlessly and effortlessly. Women are indeed strong!

    ReplyDelete

  3. It's indeed beautiful to be a woman, even in the most difficult time she doesn't break. A woman always knows how to find her way through, relentlessly and effortlessly. Women are indeed strong and incorruptible!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Heartbroken Heartbreaker

It took me how long to write this? Probably a million years! This piece is long overdue! Ladies and gentlemen, especially ladies, please do not feel particularly attacked by this piece. I am trying very hard to be honest. Last night, I thought to myself what my response would be if people ever asked me if I've been heartbroken and before I knew it, I had a long speech about how unserious men can be and how women suffer as a result of this. Then it occurred to me that, in the real sense of things, I have never had my heart broken by anybody. Please, please, please, I am not forming wonder woman or holy than thou, it is the simple truth! I came to this realization because, I noticed that if there was ever a time that I felt terrible emotionally it was because of my own expectations and unrealistic guesses. I really don't like to write things about love and relationship and stuff because it gives my readers too much opportunity to get into my head and sometimes, imagine things

Miss Doing the Most

"So what makes you happy?" I asked Don. "Oh well, good food, " He replied. I smiled casually, but deep down, I added that to the list of points I needed to add to my skillset. I had been casually asking him what he liked and didn't like so I could know what I needed to pretend to be, in order to keep this one. Yes, keep this one. A man is a purse, meant to be kept! No juju, no big bumbum, no yellow girl was going to take this one from me. Big bum, check! I got it. Although six months ago, I didn't. I had spent a loan I took from my uncle which was made for a supposed new business venture (I lied) on getting my bumbum increased in size. Although it hurts sometimes when I sit for long, I didn't care. Anyway, back to base! Don had mentioned he liked good food, ladies who wore revealing outfits, ladies who barely eat, he didn't like the idea of a woman eating too much food, he wanted them classy he had said. So, tonight I made a conscious effort t